15 July 2011 – Complex Title Goes Here

July 15th, 2011 § 29 comments

15 July 2011

Sources:

  • Top: H&M
  • Necklace: Fig & Ginger, Mothers Day gift from little e. and his dad
  • Skirt: chopped from a thrifted maternity dress
  • Belt: thrifted
  • Sandals: Jeffrey Campbell

End Notes:

A couple of weeks ago a reader e-mailed us with this observation and question:

I realized that the cute pictures of pregnant women and bloggers and celebrities that we see are usually of the girls that look like twizzlers who swallowed a grape. The ones who don’t look pregnant from the back. And I started to wonder if, along with the movement toward pregnancy being beautiful, there is not now a huge amount of pressure to remain beautiful and cute while pregnant. Is it becoming unacceptable to gain a lot of weight and wear sweats and not bother with your hair?

I found this to be a really difficult question to answer. First off, what role DOES social pressure and the media plays in my self-image on a regular basis? I’ve always been the skinny flat-chested girl, but how much was my embrace of that body type motivated by an acceptance of social norms or was it more self-generated? I don’t know that I can really say for sure. And how about with a pregnant body? Certainly, descriptions of women’s obsession with not gaining weight during pregnancy appeared in Pregnancy Today and the New York Times. I don’t think that photos of skinny pregnant celebrities played a significant role in my past pregnancy or this one…but I’m certainly willing to admit that media influence is often a lot more subtle and seductive than we realize.

But besides social pressure, I also had to think about the particularities of my own body proportions, personal history, career path, and lifestyle. I don’t especially want to delve into my medical history here, but I will say that those specificities have powerfully shaped the way in which I understand my body and my pregnancy.

15 July 2011

So here’s the thing. For me, the worst part of being pregnant is how my body has suddenly become grounds for public conversation and debate. Strangers and mere acquaintances frequently pass judgment at the grocery store, in the park, or at the library. “You’re too small to be seven and a half months pregnant. Are you eating enough?” “Oh, you’re only 5 months pregnant? That’s going to be a big baby!” “Wow, you’re carrying low. Is your cervix okay?” If I’m wearing a dress and cute shoes or deemed “too small,” I’m accused of being too vain and not taking adequate care of myself or my child. If I’m deemed “too big,” I’m still accused of not taking adequate care of myself or my child, hence the “excess” weight. A bit of an overwrought rant? Sure. But it is rather amazing to see how much public attitudes towards pregnancy have changed in the past several decades, from a “condition” that was not discussed in polite conversation to a free-for-all debate over health and responsibility.

Perhaps I am still just too close to the situation to answer this reader question adequately. Am I buying into a Hollywood myth of what pregnancy should look like by wearing a body-conscious striped dress? Or am I just having fun with an unfamiliar body? All that to say…I don’t particularly want to look like a twizzler that swallowed a grape. On the other hand, I’m not crazy about the hand and cheek bloat that comes with being pregnant in the middle of a hot summer. And finally, I’m sorry if I give a stand-offish vibe in the grocery store. I’m probably worried that you’re judging the fat content of the food in my cart. Because I can be anxious like that.

Just one last thing. S. and I have different bodies and have thus had different pregnancies. And, except for our overlapping love of the hippie mama look, we’ve dressed differently from each other to accomodate our own bodies, work habits, and family routines. So S., just so you know, I think you’ve looked beautiful this whole pregnancy. Good work and good luck.

Fig & Ginger Bird Necklace

15 July 2011

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§ 29 Responses to 15 July 2011 – Complex Title Goes Here"

  1. Jennifer says:

    Thanks for addressing that comment, particularly the fact that everyone’s pregnancy (and pregnant body) is going to be different. I’ve been paying close attention to both of your posts as I am just entering my second trimester and trying to figure out what the heck I’m planning to do once the bellyband is no longer enough and the old clothes just don’t fit. I appreciate the variety and different takes you’ve both offered. I’m totally ambivalent about the changes going on right now, and what the next 6 months will bring, but it’s nice to see there’s a range of options out there.

  2. Jane W. says:

    Hats off to you for addressing this issue. For what it’s worth, I don’t see this blog perpetuating Hollywood-esque standards of pregnant style or beauty. On the contrary, S has spoken openly about prioritizing comfort unless she has had to leave the house. I wish that there had been pregnancy style blogs when I was expecting 9 years ago. To me, they represent choice and diversity, much more so than mainstream pregnancy magazines.

    Your observations about the pregnant body as public property really resonated with me. I can’t count the number of people who felt like it was okay to just start rubbing my stomach.

    • alex w. says:

      I’ve never been pregnant, but I would have to agree with your statement that they “represent choice and diversity” about pregnancy, and I think it’s such a great thing. I remember what my mom wore when she was pregnant with my sister in the 90s, and I’ve seen what she wore in the late 80s when she was pregnant with me, and I’ve seen pictures of what women wore in previous decades, and to be honest, I think it’s great that maternity clothing is more flattering than it used to be! It seems that pregnancy would be a great time to dress in such a way that you’re happy with your appearance. Or at least that’s what I would guess.

  3. amanda says:

    I think you responded to that question well. Being a not pregnant woman, even I can see how the rights to discuss a woman’s body has become completely appropriated by the public, and that makes me ill. I think it is rooted deeper than pregnancy though. since the women’s movements of the past decades have made the topic accessible, figuring out *how* to approach the subject of the bodies of women in a respectable (of women generally and singularly-boundaries) has become a slippery slope. Now that nutrition and “healthy weight” have become a national topic this has become an even more confusing subject. I suspect that as women we tend to think that all other women’s bodies are our intellectual property, without respect to the individual and *how* or *why* they are the way that they are. In doing that we are going against what we have fought for so long; over-judgment passed with a basis in our physical (not easily changed) appearance. We are all individuals, and the size of our bums may have nothing or everything to do with who we are, but there is no way to know that without getting to know a person. We are not just a generic “other” to men; we are individuals.
    I think YOU can talk about the specifics of your body without it becoming a topic open to all. It’s like parents; I can talk about them as I please, but nobody should dare tell me anything about them! Maybe thats just me being Southern, haha. The point is, boundaries are key!

  4. There’s been a scary trend in my neck of the woods of younger pregnant girls taking up smoking to deliberately try and stunt their babies’ growth. The explanations for this have ranged from fear of delivering a big baby to not wanting to “get fat” or have a “fat baby.” A good friend of mine works as an eating disorder counselor and she says that social pressures and expectations of thinness and the fact that young girls will often take the advice of other young girls, no matter how stupid and dangerous it is, is resulting in a growing portion of the young and pregnant community engaging in this behavior.

    I always hate how strangers view my curly hair as public domain and have no problem walking up and “boinging” a curl without so much as a “How do you do?;” I can only imagine that having people view your abdomen and growing child the same way must be so much worse. Everyone’s body should be outside the public sphere.

    • Amelia says:

      As a fellow curly girl, I just had to pipe in on your comment. I can’t tell you how many times people have approached me without introduction and just touched my head. Having not been pregnant myself, it’s the first thing I thought of after reading this post!

  5. Michelle says:

    I will admit that I love hearing when people think I have looked great during my pregnancy, and I am even more vigilant in making sure that I leave the house with at least some semblance of cuteness or stylishness than I did pre-pregnancy, but I don’t pay much mind to celebrity pregnancies, so haven’t considered them a factor in how I feel about fashion and bumps. I originally found this blog through your posts while looking for ways in which to dress my burgeoning pregnant body (because it was intimidating not knowing how I was going to change or how I was going to address those changes), found a lot of great tips, and was then excited to see that you and S were both somewhere in the same timeline as I am, which helped keep me motivated. I personally haven’t felt pressure to look good from others. Rather, it’s been my own insecurities and desire to feel attractive to myself that have driven me to be more creative with my wardrobe and accessories – esp after watching friends go through pregnancy with borrowed maternity clothes that don’t really fit them and which add to their insecurities. I mean, I struggled for 30 years to accept my body as it is, learning to make it look good, and now, when there’s something about it to celebrate, I don’t want to hide it! Looking good makes me feel good and feeling good makes me look good; it’s a happy little cycle. Plus, I feel that this experience of dressing my new ever-changing body will positively impact how I dress myself post-pregnancy, making me more creative and resourceful. As an aside to future bloomers, I think it’s great to have a few pregnancy tops and dresses that you can throw on and *know* they’ll work/not show your maternity band no matter how you maneuver your body, but I really recommend that you incorporate your old wardrobe as much as you can (maybe stretching it further with tanks or jersey skirts that nix the worry about the maternity band) or buy non-maternity clothes that work, make you feel good, and that you can see yourself wearing post-birth (Old Navy on sale tends to work really well and be cheap!) because it’ll help you feel like your old self. Sorry for the long comment!

  6. Kitty says:

    Great post! I’m five months pregnant now, and facing a lot of the same issues. It’s been grand to hear yours and S.’s preggo stories.

    I think that there have been some really big changes in both the role of the pregnant woman in society, the perception of pregnancy today, and what advice medical professionals are giving pregnant women. When my mum was pregnant with me (31 years ago), it was suggested that she leave the workplace at 28 weeks, and return when I was old enough to walk and feed myself. Being a pregnant woman in the workplace meant hiding your bump with a frumpy maternity gown and hoping not to be noticed. Now, women are literally moving from the office (or the classroom) to the hospital, and it makes sense that fashion would follow this trend, providing clothes for women who are embracing both roles as mother-to-be and working woman. My mum finds it amazing that so many of the maternity clothes now are black, neutral or really form-fitting – definitely a big change from when she last had to do maternity shopping!

    As far as the weight thing goes, things do appear to have changed greatly. When I told my mother that the ideal weight gain proposed to me by my OB was 15-20 pounds, she was aghast – 31 years ago, they told her that gaining between 25 and 40 pounds was perfectly acceptable for a first child, and that exercise might be harmful to the baby (quite the opposite is recommended today). I’m not sure if the change is due to women today being heavier to begin with, or if new medical research has turned doctor’s heads on the subject, but it definitely seems to be a totally different world than the one our mothers experienced years ago.

  7. Well said, E. The issue of the pregnant body becoming an ‘acceptable’ topic for public comment is something I’ve discussed at some length with friend S. (of Narrowly Tailored), who is now nearing the finish line of her first pregnancy, and that Paige of Barefoot & Vintage touched on in a post a few days ago, and though I’ve yet to experience pregnancy (and the attendant social ramifications) myself, I find this tendency deeply offensive. Your point about the highly individual nature of bodies, pregnancies, lifestyles and experience is well taken, and is one more members of the ‘well-intentioned’ public should take to heart before offering their opinion on another’s shape – and not just during pregnancy, anytime!

  8. Rita says:

    Great post. I find fascinating how a woman’s body seems to be public domain in the US. Sure, there are women (celebrities, bloggers, etc.) we are “exposed” to (or expose ourselves to) and “look up” to in a way but it makes me wonder if people can’t just think for themselves or make a decision on their own according to what is best for them! Sure, sometimes I come here and think I wish I wouldn’t have to worry about my genes from my mom’s side of the family which will probably make it quite hard to get my pre-pregnant body back. But that’s all it is, a very personal thought. I won’t blame society or whatever for having these thoughts. They’re my own, come from my personal experience and only I have the capacity to lead my life in a way that can best prepare me for pregnancy and life after it. All people should be worried about is doing their best to keep healthy independent of where they are in their lives. If people aim for that, the rest will follow.

  9. Alisha says:

    Insightful post, E. I too have noticed the trend that women’s bodies (pregnant and not) are seen as grounds for public debate, often without their consent. Personally, I would NEVER just touch someone’s preggo belly (even though I understand why people want to…baby bumps are fascinating, and humans are such visual and tactile beings). I really wanted to believe our society has moved past this, but I think that people’s extreme concern about weight, appearance, etc (often under the guise of being concerned for that person’s “health”, like it’s someone else’s business anyway) is a very powerful tool of social control and social shaming. Pregnant women, I think, are subject to this even more so than the general public, because people believe it’s their right to ignore politeness and personal space boundaries since there is another being (the fetus) involved. I have a few questions for you: Do you feel like you get more or less of that kind of commentary on your pregnant weight/appearance when you are out with e. or without him around? Do the types of comments you get vary with the context (for example, are there certain types of questions you get when you’re on campus vs. when you’re at the grocery store?). Do you think people would make the same kinds of comments (like that you’re not eating enough) if your husband was standing there with you? And how do you politely tell people that their questions are unwelcome?

    • admin says:

      Those are good questions, Alisha, and I think your comment about social shaming is spot on.

      I think I get more comments about my appearance when I am out without little e…maybe because people assume this is my first pregnancy? I haven’t thought about whether the questions and comments differ with location/context. I’ll have to think about that more. I do get some comments when with my husband, but less so. Also, they tend to be directed towards him, as if he is responsible for me gaining the “proper” amount of weight.

      When deflecting I try to remind people that this is really between my doctor and me. “Well, my doctor says I’m right on track,” etc. I’d welcome suggestions for other ways to respond, though.

      • Alisha says:

        I really like the response of reminding people that’s it’s an issue between you and your doctor. Hopefully people aren’t offended by that, because it sounds like you are (gently) reminding them that they really don’t have the knowledge to make such comments (let alone pass judgment) to you. I’m sure it can get tiresome that you even have to say that, though. I wish I could tell you a more clever way to respond, but I’m afraid that I’m out of ideas. Thanks for sparking this dialogue, E. I’m enjoying reading the comments section.

      • Mistie Watkins says:

        I’ll be honest, after having a group of random people touching my stomach while trying not to vomit on them (I had severe morning sickness), I took the slightly more aggressive approach. When one person started touching my stomach and asking about my weight gain, I started touching his stomach and commenting on his grocery choices. I didn’t enjoy the comments about my weight gain, but I found it even more concerning after my daughter was born, and the same type of people who commented on my pregnant body began commenting on my child’s body. My daughter is 3 now, and I can’t tell you how many people comment on her body–whether they think she is too small, very tall, too big, or just so beautiful. She has started to understand and be bothered by the comments.

        • Academichic says:

          I just wanted to chip in (a bit late) to add that while E’s endured comments about too little weight gain, I’ve found it really frustrating and offensive to constantly get comments asking whether I’m sure that I’m not having twins (har har, how original) and noting that I’m showing quite a bit.

          It seems like no matter what – whether you’re ‘too small’ or ‘too big’ – it all becomes licence for public debate. I don’t know what answer to offer to this other than that I’ve tried as my pregnany went on to shrug those comments off and to find confidence in knowing that I’m doing what’s best for me (and growing at the rate that my body needs).

          S.

          • Sarah says:

            Hi there, I’m new to your site but 18 weeks along with my second bub. With my first baby I was constantly told that my bump was too small – one lady even asked me if I was “healthy” (I actually had no words to respond to this). I was constantly asking my OBGYN for reassurance that everything was fine and eventually gave birth to a beautiful, healthy 6lb14oz baby girl. This time around I have put on a bit more weight but have decided to relax and go with it. I will be using your “well my doctor says its fine” line I think!

  10. Ellie says:

    Perhaps what is at stake is not how you, or whether or not you react to the judgements of others. Rather, it is the question of why pregnancy must be a public matter. Yes, it obvious when a woman is pregnant, but frankly, an enormous life decision such as that is between the woman and her family.

    If I wear a sweatshirt from my graduate program strangers don’t say “My, you have chosen a very good school. Are you sure you can keep up? What if you don’t get a teaching job?”. It was a life choice I made. I don’t see why pregnancy should be any different. It.is.your.choice.and.your.life.

  11. Hana says:

    First, E., thanks for the thoughtful post, and thanks to both E. and S., and all the commenters, for sharing the challenges and triumphs of outfitting pregnancy. While I’m at it, thanks to all the Chics for this great blog! I was compelled to reply today because at week 14 of my own pregnancy, I’ve spent time reflecting on the focus on pregnant celebs, plus I’ve encountered similar issues to what’s been addressed here. Because of not-fun hyperemesis gravidarum, I’ve had extreme weight loss rather than gain, so I’m not visibly pregnant and have thus been spared comments incited by appearance. I’ve seen something similar in another area, though, which is that I got a lot of unsolicited tips for controlling nausea. Everyone meant well and some of it was useful, but at times I felt–since I’d required hospitalization, at-home IV hydration, and catheter drugs–that my needs were unique and much of the advice was, unfortunately, unhelpful. I know everyone’s needs are unique, but I felt discouraged and isolated rather than helped because the advice was so far off base. And yet the fact of my illness (and, I suppose, general politeness) forced me to have those conversations whether I felt like it or not. So I really relate to having physical circumstance interpreted as invitation for suggestion. Like E. has added, I’ve found I fall back on stuff lie, “Well, my doctor has said…” to deflect, but I worry I sound dismissive, which isn’t what I want when I know they mean well.

    To get back to the celeb stuff, another thing I’ve noticed in addition to what everyone’s described so well–media celebration of pregnancy featuring mostly slim women–is that some of the snarkier sites and tabloids can be pretty cruel to those who gain a lot of weight. I know the current medical wisdom is less is safer, but I don’t get the sense these folks are concerned for the health of the women they disparage. As someone who started off on the shorter, plumper end of the spectrum, I resent that the only mainstream mention of heavier pregnant women seems to come with jeers.

    Finally, I also wanted to say thanks for the discussions about dressing a pregnant body in the classroom (in addition to everything you’ve explored about style’s role in academia). I remember E.’s facing an interesting dilemma the 1st time around, about how she wasn’t sure if her priority was to minimize or accentuate a growing belly (sorry if I’m remembering that inaccurately). As a fellow grad student / teacher, I’ll be staring down that question soon and I’m glad it’ll be with guidance from such thoughtful people. Sorry to hog so much space in the comments, though!

  12. Eleanorjane says:

    This post and several others from other blogs, really reinforce how much we’re affected by other people’s comments and expectations and how much I should try really hard not to lay them on anyone else. These posts have also been quite comforting to see so many women dealing with comments and expectations and how it’s really true that ‘you can’t please all of the people all of the time’ so really, I should just stop bothering to try!

    I particularly struggle with the ‘just a Mum’ idea that seems to denigrate woman who are mothers. It’s part of the reason I haven’t tried to get pregnant yet as I define quite a bit of my self-worth by my intelligence and career. But it’s been really freeing to think ‘It doesn’t matter if people judge me or assume things… I can just please myself and stuff them!’ Yay!

  13. April says:

    Thanks so much for your reply to my question. It’s been 14 years since I was pregnant and things have changed greatly even since then.

    One thing that hasn’t changed is what you said about the way people treat pregnant women. Unsolicited advice and comments were the worst. I was quite young, too, so it came with a fair amount of judgement.

    I’ve always remembered this and would never imagine touching a pregnant woman or commenting on how much weight she has or hasn’t gained. It amazes me that other women who have had children forget what this was like and perpetuate this behavior.

  14. Sara Rose says:

    My body looked entirely different with both of my pregnancies. I, too, REALLY resented my body being public forum and we live in an area that complete strangers fully think they’ve got liberty to say just about anything. “Are you sure there aren’t twins in there?” “Put warm cabbage leaves on those breasts!” (I wish I was joking on that one.) “My goodness, you’re due any day now!” “Are you going to breast feed?” “Don’t eat chocolate- it’ll hurt the baby!!!” (Who tells a pregnant woman that?_

    Moving on. I was very self conscious both times. Prior to pregnancy, I was only slightly curvy and had finally stopped very disordered eating and got to a healthy 130 at 5’6. I showed IMMEDIATELY with my first- my breasts seemed to explode, as did my hips and but, and I carried so high I could barely breathe. I also carried really far out- with a large belly. I had stayed healthy and active until my 24 week check and was dilated/effaced/in danger of early labor. I went on bedrest and what that does to a body is insane- no exercise whatsoever until she came early at 35/36 weeks. I basically exploded weight wise.

    When I was pregnant with my son, I didn’t show until I was probably 18-20 weeks. After that I stayed small until, at 30 weeks I got put on bedrest again and yes, everything exploded in size. I’m still working that post baby weight off and have been self conscious ever since.

    I’ve been self-conscious because, honestly, I thought I’d be a gal whose body ‘snapped back’ fast. I’m active and work out, but a lot of the ‘lumps’ have been so resistant and my body shape- well it’s just awkward to me. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin- something I never experienced before and somehow, the friendly Midwesterners around where we live, STILL think it’s totally appropriate to comment on a woman’s body- pre, during, and post baby! It does wonders for the self esteem.

    I should most certainly not be concerned with what others say or think but it’s hard. Especially with gals who barely change shape or size, lose their weight in two seconds, and social commentary on pregnancy today. All I hope, is to keep being kind to myself and working to be physically fit so my children understand that I would rather them be strong and healthy, not twigs afraid of an occasional ice cream come.

    And, I agree, you and S. have both carried your pregnancies healthfully and beautifully. :)

    • Academichic says:

      Sara Rose,

      I just wanted to chime in and say that I absolutely have hated the “are you having twins” comment! I’ve also gained way more than the recommended 25-35 lbs and feel like my body ‘has exploded’. I don’t know why people feel compelled to point that out as if one isn’t aware of one’s body changing without the social commentary.

      I wish you the best of luck as you work towards building the kind of body you feel good in and one that is healthy and fit. And I think what you said about being kind to yourself is key as well. I believe that if people were kinder to themselves about their own bodies, they’d likely carry that same consideration over in their treatment of others as well.

      S.

  15. Marie says:

    I get that a lot too. I’m petite so I’m not a big pregnant woman because every woman has different sizes and I don’t know, no matter how much I eat, I don’t gain weight, but I did move from two sizes up. Love the skirt!

  16. raych says:

    I’m 16 weeks pregnant with my first, and I’ve always been slim and enjoyed putting clothes on this body that I know I take care of. When I got to the fat-looking stage of pregnancy, when my sudden-D-cups made all my shirts too tight and too short, I found myself weirdly depressed about the way I looked, and annoyed with myself for putting such stock in being able to look cute.

    My only perceptions of pregnant women until now have been celebrities, whose wardrobe and stylists I can’t afford, and neighbourhood pregnant women, who are mostly too tired to care. I was feeling depressed about my options until a friend of mine sent me to this blog a week ago.

    I love your aesthetic, and since it (and your body type) are very similar to my own, I found myself hopeful and delighted when trawling your archives. I can look cute, and I have options, and I don’t need to break the bank.

    Thanks so much for being here and for being what I needed right now.

  17. Inder says:

    Maybe I’m just really lucky, but I didn’t get a lot of comments from strangers beyond, “When are you due?” My friends definitely commented on my body, but mostly in a complimentary way. No one really said anything about my weight except when they meant to compliment me by saying I wasn’t that different, which is funny, because I look at photos of myself, and WOW, was I different!

    But what killed me was when, around 38 weeks, everyone decided that it was fine to tell me about some kind of crazy scary birth story they knew – their cousin gave birth in a car, etc. I was like, am I wearing a neon sign on my head that says “Tell me your traumatic birth stories!” or something?

    I do appreciate seeing women having fun dressing while pregnant, while acknowledging that it’s not always easy or fun.

    • admin says:

      Oh yes, the traumatic birth story sharing compulsion! That happened to me, too, and it was distressing!

      - E

  18. kathy says:

    Great topic. Re: maternity clothes, it’s interesting to me because when I had my first (15 years ago today), women were still wearing baggy maternity clothes with the extra material in the front so as to have a loose fit. Then when I had my second (just about 12 years ago), I wore the same clothes I had for my first, but my coworker (due a month earlier than me) was starting to wear the types of clothes you see now, i.e. stretchy, form-fitting tops that really aren’t “maternity” at all. I thought it was brave of her to don her belly like that, but everyone does it now.

    I think that pregnancy is such a personal thing…some women feel great; others feel awful (like me the whole time), that no one has any right to judge a pregnant woman on how she looks. But I agree that the media has made it seem all pregnant women should be sticks with basketballs, which is such a disservice to every pregnant woman out there.

  19. I’m 13 weeks along, and gathering information and inspiration as I go. Thanks for all the great comments everyone!

  20. Oh my. I wish I could condense all my thoughts on this into an appropriate comment length, but suffice it to say it’s one I’ve thought about, a lot. I think some of it comes from just pure social cluelessness (particularly among younger folks, interestingly — it’s that, “oh my god, a pregnant woman! what do I say?!?!” thing), but it does come from this disturbing sense that pregnant women are the property of the universe as a whole. Some of it comes from sense of social pressure that is probably partially self-imposed (oh my goodness! when my husband’s aunt says I look small, is she hinting to my MIL that she thinks I’m malnourishing their grandchild? and so on into the wide world of crazy), but it’s a uniquely bizarre experience.
    I think an interesting undercurrent, and one I know I’ve pondered as S. has discussed staying active during pregnancy, is the extent to which there seems to be rampant judgment — very little of it informed — on both ends of the spectrum. For example, there was an NBC story this morning on “mommyrexia,” or women gaining too little weight while pregnant, but the headline picture was of a group of pregnant women running. This is going to come across as super self-evident, but it drives me crazy that there can be so much talk about a topic, and so little nuance…

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